life update | going with the flow, changing my degree and feeling happier.
September 14, 2018
hey there,
Welcome back to the blog!
I have missed posting but truthfully have had no drive to write as I had no idea of what direction this blog was taking and that stressed me out. I have taken some time away to think and reflect on me and my direction, and my blog and its direction. It has been a confusing few months, filled with uncertainty of who I am as a person and where I am aiming to go in my life. I think it's pretty normal at my age to be confused about your path and your 'purpose', nonetheless, it is still very difficult. I am someone who likes a plan and a structure, and I have slowly come to realise how life is something that cannot really be planned out. I mean, we can have hopes, dreams, and targets, but nobody knows how their life will turn out. This has been a hard pill to swallow but also has somehow made me feel a lot more relaxed about my path. My main concern has been my career path, I have been so conflicted, being inspired by so many vocations. Believe me when I say at some point during these past few months I have wanted to work towards becoming; an actress, a singer, a TV presenter, a full-time blogger, a 'YouTuber', a teacher, a writer, an academic, a business owner, a full-time fitness instructor...and many more things, I'm sure. I know how ridiculous that all sounds, but I get so passionate and excited about things that I want to have a go at it all. Even though I know that it's not really possible. It all made me panic because I didn't know where to focus my energy. I have been thinking so hard about what I am meant to be and how I'm going to get there, that I have forgotten to just go with it a little more, to stop panicking and just embrace life. Because it is so easy to get caught up in stressing about an uncertain future and forget to enjoy and appreciate what you have.
I thought today I'd write out a little life update post just to begin this new blogging chapter with all the updates of where I am at, and some little personal goals I have set myself.
I have had a busy few months between everything. I finished the first year of my degree which was a magnificent achievement for me. I had a really amazing first year at uni (despite me actually really not enjoying it until the second term) and felt like I really grew as a person and am so much happier as a person since starting my degree. As you may recall, I have been studying a degree in English Literature and Geography, two subjects that have meant a great deal to me for a number of years. Through studying these two subjects I feel like I have learned so much about the world, about history, about culture and so on. It has been truly great. In February, I (reluctantly) started studying a Medieval Literature module (I believe it was fate!), and in a non-dramatic way, it really changed me in several ways. Up until that point, I wasn't exactly happy at University. I didn't think I was good enough and I didn't really feel passionate enough to continue. But, this module left me so inspired after every lecture, I felt truly inspired by my lecturers in the way they taught and empowered us as students. I felt good. I felt like I had found my thing. My passion, my drive. I had role models in the Uni, which is something so important to me. That's when I knew that I had to be studying a single Hons degree in English Literature because although Geography is such a fantastic, enrichening subject, it did not make me feel like English Literature had the ability to make me feel. So, I changed my degree (of course, I had to pass both subjects in year 1 to be able to transfer). I transferred to BA English Literature, and I am so happy I made that choice for myself. A few years back, I'd have done nothing about it, but I made the change and I'm so flipping happy that I did! I have even been considering going down the academic route in the future, as I have such a huge passion for literature (particularly Medieval!)
I think what I have come to realise over the past few months is that I can achieve things when I really put my mind to it. For example, I re-sat one of my A-level exams in June. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's something I had to do. I spent a small fortune to get to do it (I had to pay room hire etc.), but I ended up getting the grade I wanted, so it was bloody worth it! I don't give myself enough credit, I am my harshest critic. Whether that be not believing in my potential, not having confidence in my abilities and certainly not being kind about how I look. But, I'm learning. It's odd because I am quite a positive person and always try to lift and encourage others, but I need to start practicing what I preach and do the same for myself, instead of accepting sh*t. I am setting myself the targets of having a little more faith in myself and to start using my voice more. Also, I need to stop putting others on a pedestal above myself, I really have to stop doing that. I am truly excited about life and the future and am ready to go with it a little more. Gratitude is something I try to practice often, and I am truly, truly grateful for the things and people I have in my life. That's all that matters. Also, Strictly is back, so how can I not be happy and grateful?
I am going to start enjoying blogging a little more. I do feel I made it more of a chore than it needed to be. I am going to change it up a little on here. I am going to start posting more about fashion, favourites, and things, whilst also incorporating the advice/lifestyle and fitness posts! I am excited to see where I can take this blog.
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| I was lucky enough to visit Italy twice over the Summer. It is my favourite place. Here is me and my wonderful mam in Piazza Tasso, Sorrento x |
So, there's a mini update of what has been going on recently.
I'll be back with new posts every weekend.
thanks for stopping by xxxx
Love always,
Eve
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xxx
2 comments
Lovely photos Eve! I know how difficult it can be to trust in fate and go with the flow. Like you, I always have a plan of what I'm going to do. But things often don't go to plan and then it can be hard to accept! We both need to chill a bit more I think :)
ReplyDeleteI also think it's great that you made the decision to change your BA. I wish you the best of luck with it :) xx
Jessie | allthingsbeautiful-x
Thanks so much Jess :) Yes, exactly- it can be a really difficult thing to realise, but I feel once you start applying different ways of thinking and dealing with these things, it becomes far easier to feel relaxed and positive. Haha, yes, we really do :) Thanks so much and thanks for your lovely comment. xxx
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