Today I want to write about something very personal, but very important.  Being happy & being positive. 

A year ago, I wouldn't have considered myself very happy, I wasn't miserable, but I viewed life more negatively (To clarify-  I've ALWAYS had a happy life, I've never been unhappy. In this post I'm expressing the contrast between my mindset now and my mindset a year ago.)

Everyone has a bad day now and again, and that's life. It comes with it. But, on the whole we should be all trying to embrace the beauty of life and what it has to offer, the people, the opportunities, the experiences. 

I think that I wasn't too sure of who I was as a person, who I was supposed to be, how I was supposed to be towards others, or viewed by others. I went through terrible phases of constantly being anxious of how I'd portrayed myself, how I'd acted, how I'd performed. I feared falling below people's expectations of me. I would be annoyed at myself when I didn't act 'perfectly' or as I'd planned. It was very hard for me to put things that hadn't gone well behind me, I'd need reassurance from others around me. 
I never thought I had a voice, didn't believe that people would listen to me and I didn't think I'd be taken too seriously by new people. This meant that I'd do things for people, let them take advantage because I didn't use my voice to say 'No'.
I never really had anything I'd really look forward to in life (No hobbies etc.) I'd get up in the morning, tackle the school day, come home do homework, go to bed. 
One of my biggest issues was I'd set out with high expectations of things and when those expectations weren't met I'd be disappointed. *

It wasn't all doom and gloom in life. I know it sounds like I was a complete misery which isn't true, but I wasn't as happy as I am now. 

I think something I struggled with a heck of a lot was that I knew that my grandfather was dying, but I hid any emotion I really felt about it. I didn't feel able to talk about it sometimes because I felt I had to be strong for my family and loved ones. Quite simply, it was an exhausting and emotionally draining time last year. 

I'll tell you something people, if you were to ask me how I feel today, I'd say 'fabulous', if you were to ask me on a Tuesday I'd say 'alright', but that's because I hate Tuesdays!  (I just have a problem with Tuesdays, I only occasionally enjoy them! What's that? You don't care? Okay.)
 Jokes aside, I feel the happiest I have ever felt in life and the most positive. I take each day as it comes and am thankful every day for my blessings. 
I look at life and think 'wow- I am so incredibly lucky to have so many people who genuinely care about me' I also am blown away with some of the things I get to do in life, even the smallest things. 
My main focus these days is making the most of every day and anything good that comes out of that day. Obviously, not everything is bright and wonderful, I mean there's things I absolutely dread doing and sometimes I feel utterly rubbish, but that comes with life. Life isn't perfect, and that's something I've learnt to accept. 
I've found that finding something you're passionate in life can make you feel so much happier and more like part of a community. At one point my day-to-day social group was my friends in school, and sometimes this made me very lonely (school has it's perks too, of course! I've met some amazing people there!). These days, I've met so many great people who I am grateful to know, and this came by getting off my bum and joining in with the outside world (and the blogging world). I now feel as if I'm part of a wider community than just school, it's brilliant. 
My life has changed this year, but that is because I made a change. There's no way you can sit back and wish that things will get better. You have to take action.

Apologies that I look absolutely bonkers in this photo- just had to feature it!! haha!

 The last thing I want to say in this post is: Even if things right now for you is absolutely awful, there is a way to make it better. It may take a while for you to find that way, but if you work hard enough you'll eventually find the key to being happier.

Remember, no one is 100% happy, there's always something in life you wish to change. It just depends how big that something is. 

Thank you for being such brilliant readers. I am very thankful for all of your support. It makes me just that little bit happier when I see that I've gained a follower or someone's commented on one of my posts, thank you. 






* NOTE:  All things discussed are feelings I'd felt from time to time. I've always had a happy life.