I actually cannot quite believe that we have come to the end of another year. On the whole, 2018 has been a good one for me, it has been a year of great personal growth. When I look back at who I was and how I felt a year ago, I am astounded by just how different things are. Like every year, 2018 has had its ups and downs; challenges, successes, failures, laughs, cries, losses, gains and everything in between. I will be taking away some very fond memories with me from this past year, as well as some real life lessons. I wanted to write a post to reflect on the past year; sharing some memories, successes and lessons I have learnt, whilst also taking the time to note down my hopes and goals for 2019. I'd take this time to go make yourself a cup of tea...I hope you enjoy...

I think that it is worth noting that 2017 had been a little bit of a rollercoaster for me; though filled with some really fond memories and experiences, it had also been quite challenging on the whole. I went into the new year feeling a little bit confused about who I was and what I was doing with my life, having really not enjoyed my first term of my first year at university. 2018 began with me being struck down by that awful Australian flu, so a fair few days of January were spent on the sofa binge watching Grey's Anatomy - I decided to watch the dreaded episode 21 of season 11 during this time as I was feeling awful anyway! The remainder of the month was spent preparing myself for the first term university module's January exams - such fun! 
2018 was a game-changer for me in terms of my view on university, as previously mentioned, I had spent most of the first term feeling really uninspired by education and university life. After considering dropping out on several occasions, I promised myself that I would go into the second term with an open mind, and if I still wasn't happy then I would call it a day. Well, how things changed. I truly fell in love with university and I actually felt excited to learn. I have a really fond memory of being in the second lecture of my medieval module and thinking to myself 'this is it, this is my thing, this is what I want to do'; it sparked a passion in me - I had found my thing, and I was inspired! My experience at university in 2018 has been such a great one; of course, there has been challenges (and a lot of stress at times), but my goodness, I am so grateful and happy to be there. I have been so very lucky to have been able to meet and get to some truly wonderful, inspiring, kind and empowering individuals whilst there, that have had such a profoundly positive impact on my experience and my year. I made the difficult decision at the end of my first year to transfer from a joint honours degree in English Literature and Geography to a single honours BA in English Literature in the second year; though studying Geography was something I thoroughly enjoyed, I came to realise just how passionately I felt about studying English Literature. Though difficult, this decision is one I am so proud to have made because I am so happy. 
I have had some extremely wonderful experiences in 2018:
 In March, I travelled to Trowbridge to attend a fantastic Zumba masterclass. To be in the presence of the fantastic Zumba presenters; Nadia Alkoc, Alessandro Belletti, Prince Paltu-ob, and of course my own ZES, Sandra Bayliss was such a great pleasure - it was a truly inspirational event;
In the summer, my second cousin got married, and what a wonderful day we had getting to celebrate their love and happiness;
I got to travel to Italy twice; once with two of my dear friends, and then with my mother and brother - both times as special as each other, I feel extremely lucky; 
The Eisteddfod in Cardiff was a personal highlight of my year; it was just so fantastic to see so many people of all different backgrounds coming together to celebrate and learn about Welsh culture. It was particularly special to see the lovely Sian James at the Eisteddfod, and so lovely to get to finally introduce my mother to her - so wonderful. 
I must note that 2018 was the year I finally discovered a real interest in fashion and I also decided to change my hair - I went for the chop and dyed it too. 
2018 brought some wonderful things into my life; Mamma Mia 2 (still bitter about the fate of Donna, but still, a great film and soundtrack), The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Miley Cyrus' 'Nothing Breaks like a Heart', Sian's album 'Gosteg'...and the list goes on! 

I have really grown a lot this year and have achieved some things I am so proud of. I have grown from being someone who really didn't think they deserved their place at University, to someone who is proud that they are. 
I have learnt that in life there are some people who deserve your time, your energy, your thoughtfulness and kindness, and there are some who are actually just not that nice; treasure those who celebrate you for who you are, and stop bothering with the people who use you for their own personal gain. 
I have really come to learn that there is no point getting worked up or anxious about what may or may not happen; life is unpredictable - it can be cruel at times. It is important to live in the moment and enjoy life for what it is. It is such a rollercoaster of ups and downs. 
I am slowly learning to stop being so apologetic for who I am and for taking up people's time; I have wasted so many hours of my life overthinking everything I've said, or worrying that I am getting on a person's nerves etc. It is not worth it...I am who I am - I may as well embrace it.


Let's hope 2019 will be filled with more growth and happiness. I want to wish you all the most wonderful 2019 - may it be filled with so much happiness, success and good health.  All that is left to say is thank you 2018 - you have been a joy. 

Yes, I loved my long hair, but I needed a change. The thought of cutting off over 11 inches of my hair terrified me as my long hair has been part of my 'look' for a long time and a sort of comfort blanket. I had loved having my hair long, but did feel like I wanted something new as I'd gotten quite bored of the same style and it was getting so hard to manage. Making the decision to cut off so much hair was made so much easier when I decided that I could donate my hair to the Little Princess Trust. There's something about knowing that all that hair wasn't just getting chucked in the bin that made it loads easier.

Little Princess Trust is a fantastic charity. They provide wigs made out of real hair to children in the UK that have lost their hair after going through cancer treatment. For more info on this fabulous charity: >> click here <<

The shorter hair took some getting used to, and I did miss my long hair for a little while, but I can honestly say I am embracing the change and enjoying life with shorter hair.

I hope that my dramatic title caught your attention. I lied...a little. I do still care, I mean, I'm Eve Johnson. Over-thinker is my middle name. I am, however, learning to care less. I have come to the realisation that a lot of the choices I make and things I do have a lot to do with what other people think, rather than just going with it and doing what I want to do. I have let the worry of what people will think hold me back. I have always feared someone's opinion changing of me if I do certain things. I am learning to think more about myself (in a non-narcissistic way) in order to really live my best life (yes, cheesy, but it's the truth!)

I have so often let little worries get in the way of me doing things. So many 'what ifs'. So many times I have started things and let fear stop me from pushing forward. I mean, my YouTube channel is a great example, I think I have started a YouTube channel about 4 times in the past because it's something I have always wanted to do, but have put all of my videos on private due to me being in complete fear of people's judgment or what it could mean for my future, instead of just going for it and seeing what happens. I think it's so easy to fall in to the trap of letting fear dominate your life and your decisions; what if I sound dumb? What if they don't like me? What if I fail? Instead of thinking; what if I can have a positive impact on someone or something? They might actually like me for being me! What if I succeed? Life is all about making choices. Sometimes you make the right ones and sometimes the wrong ones. That's how it is. Trying is the most important thing. Grow, don't rot. Keep moving and trying things. I am so determined to do things in my life. To go places. Take risks. I cannot settle for boring. 

I am learning not to care as much. I am working on not caring too much about people's opinion, because the only people I need and want in my life are those that push me, that encourage me, comfort me, celebrate with me and care for me. People who judge and hold us back are not good for our progress. 

So, I'm going for it a little more. Worrying a little less. I will always be someone who cares, especially about people's opinion, but I don't want that holding me back. 

Worry less about failure, worrying about it only holds you back. We are all going to fail at some things. Failure actually shapes us as humans, it can make us; stronger, smarter, more compassionate, more sensitive, or less sensitive, more resilient, less arrogant, more switched on, more determined. etc. etc. We can choose to either let failure stop us or inspire us. Failure has the potential to give us the inspiration to be better, to learn, to grow. Always remember that everyone fails at some point at something, everyone is on their own journey and will overcome their own obstacles; big and small. Stop let fear hold you back from just having a go; fear of what people will think, fear of not being good enough, fear of failing. Have a go. Just go for it. You may win, and you may lose, but at least you won't be asking yourself 'what if?'

Caring is so important, but don't let that stop you from growing to reach your potential and living your fullest life. ♡♡♡♡

Hello friends,

Today I wanted to write a post about what I weigh. Now, I'm not talking about my physical weight, because quite frankly I haven't weighed in years! I'm talking about what I, as a person, ACTUALLY weigh. If you haven't heard about the 'I weigh' campaign started by the wonderful Jameela Jamil, read her blog post here: "i-weigh". 

It is incredibly sad, disappointing and quite frankly toxic that so much of a person's worth has become so associated with their physical appearance. Humans are continuously being scrutinized for what they look like. How much they weigh. Whether they are too thin, or too fat. Or if they have small boobs. Or big boobs.  A big bum, a small bum. You only have to go on the Daily Mail's website to see the constant criticism launched towards people's appearance. It's such a toxic message that is being sent out, that we must be a certain number on the scales in order to be 'worthy'. Much of a person's self-perception has been tainted by the messages continuously being projected by the media, whether that be by the press or even by social influencers. I mean, I think the abuse Tess Holliday has received for her Cosmo cover is evidence enough. People masking their abusive words as them 'looking out for her health' or 'being concerned for her' just as a way for them to pick away at someone's appearance without being perceived as a bully. She's happy. She's confident. She's beautiful. That's something that should inspire us. The same as if someone of a different body shape was on the cover and is happy. They are worth far more than what they physically weigh. 
I was actually watching Lorraine the other day, and Lorraine had Candice Brown (winner of the Great British Bake Off back in 2016) on as a guest. In the interview, Candice emotionally opened up about the abuse she has received over her weight and appearance after bikini photos of her were released all over the press. It made me so mad. So mad that people think that it's okay to criticise and bully someone over how they look. Why is this okay? How has this become okay? It is so toxic and so disgusting. Candice's interview was really great, so I'll link it here: Candice on 'Body-Shaming'. 

Through the 'I Weight' campaign Jameela stresses the importance of us thinking past the numbers on the scale when it comes to what we weigh. We need to start celebrating who we are; our achievements, our progress, our relationships, our interests etc. It's all about moving away from being defined by a number, whether that be dress size or weight. It's about actually thinking 'okay, what is good about me? what have I achieved?' It's about saying 'F you' to the ideals and being proud of who YOU are and how YOU look. Life is far too bloody short, and yes, we have our days where we do feel insecure, but it's about not letting those insecurities take away from the celebration of life. The 'I weigh' stories are so inspiring. People of all backgrounds, ages, body shapes, ethnicities, professions etc. coming together and celebrating being them. This can be anything from celebrating being someone who has recovered an eating disorder to taking pride in the fact they have given birth to a child or celebrating their academic achievements or even being proud of their fashion sense. 
I got so inspired by this movement that I thought I'd do one myself...(and I think you should do it too!), here goes:

I WEIGH:

• laugher (a lot!)
• chatterbox
• people person (i love people)!!
• friend
• a family member
• cat lover
• (animal lover in general!)
• Vegetarian
• student (that loves her degree and loves studying!)
• inspired
• lover of carbs (and food in general!!)
• hard-working
• kind
• overthinker (working on it!)
• fitness instructor
• Zumba instructor
• qualified PT
• happy
• life lover
• coffee lover
• feminist
• lover of Welsh folk music 
• ABBA lover & Mamma Mia! lover
• huge Grey's Anatomy, Grace & Frankie, Gilmore Girls, Friends, This is Us, Killing Eve, GBBO, Strictly Come Dancing, Santa Clarita Diet, Scandal, HTGAWM, Vera, Parks and Rec, Modern Family, Gavin & Stacey, Call the Midwife (etc. etc. etc.) fan!! 
• love Medieval literature
• listener
• sensitive 
• Welsh speaker (and proud!)
• love clothes
• self-critical (working on this too!!)
• outspoken
• loyal (why does this word now automatically make me think of Georgia from LI??)
• supportive
• nerd
• bonkers
• a little bit weird
• bubbly
• smiler
• blogger...ish!? 

I was lucky enough to visit Italy twice over the Summer. It is my favourite place. Here is me and my wonderful mam in Piazza Tasso, Sorrento x